i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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