Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
