well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
