i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I will be naked everywhere
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
