yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
