The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize