Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
