so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
