Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
this will be a night to untag.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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