Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
