I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
