don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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