I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
