I heard we made out
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
