I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
