the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
