I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.