i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour