so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
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I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams