Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit

(1-901): View more from Tennessee

no

(901): View more from Tennessee

the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table

(901): View more from Tennessee

im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE

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(901): pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit (1-901): no (901): the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table (901): im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE http://tfl.nu/q3wo

Replies (12) Good night (426) Bad night (1309)
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(425): View more from Washington

i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....

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(425): i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is.... http://tfl.nu/ar6t

Replies (36) Good night (3020) Bad night (560)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts

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(908): I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts http://tfl.nu/1w8r

Replies (28) Good night (4906) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
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(904): View more from Florida

i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps

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(904): i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps http://tfl.nu/x84f

Replies (85) Good night (6214) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
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(860): View more from Connecticut

at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"

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(860): at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!" http://tfl.nu/hob5

Replies (12) Good night (5379) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?

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(303): What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil? http://tfl.nu/rel9

Replies (22) Good night (4948) Bad night (1317) Order T-Shirt
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(615): View more from Tennessee

What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job

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(615): What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job http://tfl.nu/r059

Replies (8) Good night (1250) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.

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(248): Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed. http://tfl.nu/7r2l

Replies (10) Good night (2947) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..

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(570): Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me.. http://tfl.nu/j14b

Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.

(703): View more from Virginia

OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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(505): I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy. (703): OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/zfcv

Replies (1) Good night (1898) Bad night (413)
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(805): View more from California

No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.

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(805): No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard. http://tfl.nu/br69

Replies (5) Good night (2078) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?

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(443): There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut? http://tfl.nu/irwu

Replies (3) Good night (214) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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(951): View more from California

Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.

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(951): Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation. http://tfl.nu/t4hm

Replies (4) Good night (1006) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle

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(570): Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle http://tfl.nu/qz61

Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (129) Order T-Shirt
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(650): View more from California

I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?

(831): View more from California

I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak

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(650): I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up? (831): I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak http://tfl.nu/xa8u

Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (156)

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