so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"