Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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