Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
