the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
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She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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