i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
