just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
