Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
