I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
