I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
