they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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