She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize