Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
