I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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