This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
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I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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