Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
