ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
