Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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