We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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