Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
