my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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