3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
