i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
