His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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