if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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