in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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