It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
