Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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