Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
