College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
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How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
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What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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