your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
