Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
