My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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