just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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