Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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