Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
