last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
