More tranny stories later!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
