you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
