He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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