Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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