but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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