I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
