that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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