I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
