hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
