I just saw a hot homeless man
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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