somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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