I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
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i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
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Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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