Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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