If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
