i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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