the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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