I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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